I'm a Senior?

What, how did this happen? It seems like just last week that I was building blanket forts all over my house...oh wait, it was. I'm definitely still a kid at heart, people.

BUT the fact remains that I am halfway through my last year of high school. I'm looking down a dark tunnel of big unknowns and adventures. Honestly, I can't wait! God has been teaching me for all of fall 2014 that I can-actually that I should- be excited to move on with my life. "As long as you are walking in step with My Spirit, you should have no fear!" is His gentle reminder to me constantly. It took me a long time to get on board with the lesson, but now that I am beginning to listen, my attitude and perspective are being transformed! The fact that when I am walking in step with the Spirit I could go to the cheapest college, work at McDonalds, or be the President of the U.S. and live a fulfilled life that would bring glory to the Lord in any of those areas is absolutely-mind-bogglingly-exciting!

Senior year is flying by and I'm trying to use it wisely, so in-between the college/scholarship applications, and SATs/ACTs I like to come up for air, have some fun, and savor those moments of living. 

This was an all-friends-no-adults-far-away trip. It involved fishing in the rain, practicallly catching a cabin on fire, not being able to cook the loads of food we brought, crab catching, having inmates as neighbors, and  all sorts of other wonderful unforgettableness!

Sister time is an obvious must! Throw in a close friend and it's even better.

Sister time becomes even more precious when one of them becomes engaged! But then brother time becomes pretty awesome too because it's a totally new experience for me!

These two continue to make me smile, take me out to dinner, and let me tease them about growing old all the while flooding crazy amounts of truth into my life.

 Spending a lot of time in hammocks with my favorite people is so essential. A few of us even got brave and slept in them all night once.

Representing our Spiderman shirts at the Zoo :) Yep, I promise we were seventeen and eighteen at the time. In case you were wondering, she's also the one I built the blanket fort with...

Also, thanks to my first-ever 8am classes, I experienced the sunrises of fall 2014 like I had never experienced sunrises before.

Small Town County Fair was definitely time well spent, all the way down to the stereotypical criminal picture. Not to mention the classic, thrilling, sometimes-stomach-turning rides, and red-dirt-covered funnel cakes!

One Saturday I got all crafty and made myself this fabric covered headboard and matching pillow!

Doing homework in hammocks and walking across this pretty campus every day both happened.

Free puppy snuggles and free cotton candy!

I spontaneously chopped 8 inches of my hair off!

 Salvation Army bell ringing for the first time ever! It definitely involved, carol singing, happy feet dancing, and a LOT of smiling, Pretty much one of my new favorite things!

Basketball games with these crazies.

Life with Jesus talks with all of these beautiful people.

Of course I couldn't make it a full four months without a visit to this home. The fact the engaged sister lives here didn't hurt any either.

 

Lights of Tejas didn't disappoint. In fact it exceeded all my expectations with it's people, life talks, fireworks, all around colorfulness, bounce houses, fire-side chats, sister time, and adventures.

First time ever mudding was an absolute success. All you need is a muddy road, cool people, and a vehicle- instant awesome. 

First semester of senior year was a time of many firsts, among which was my first public school cafeteria meal (and hopefully last. That stuff is gross), first Rend Collective concert (there's another brewing soon!), first college class, first final exam, first big-kid trip,  getting my drivers license and first car (It's pretty great even if it is older than me!), first set of keys, first game of seven wonders (I'm now totally obsessed), first time watching Pocahontas (now one of my favorite disneys),  first time knee boarding, first time holding a pig, first bumper car ride...the list goes on! 

This post could only display some of the joys these past months have contained, but now that I plan to blog regularly I'll be able to include so many more life details without the over-whelming post sizes! Also, this semester has definitely had other experiences that weren't so cheerful, those type of things will come up in later posts.

Well, here's to the Spring, to 2015, and to the unknown future where the only certain thing is that I will continue relating it's details-as they pertain to my life- right here. *CHEERS*

~Ab

All about fear

Lately I've realized just how much fear we all hold inside of us. We may not even call it that, other names include caution, stress, concern, anxiety, nervousness, and insecurity. But let's lump it all together and call it for what it really is-fear.

It's something which the Devil loves to brew up inside of us. Fear stops us from attaining our hearts desires and pursuing relationships that could change our lives. God spoke to His people about courage and told them not to fear countless times.

Often Christians use the Bible saying not to fear as a crutch, or as encouragement for one another. Granted, there are times to use it in that way. But also remember that God has never promised us that we won't suffer, or be embarrassed, or in pain or any of the situations we are typically afraid of. Just because God says Do Not Fear, doesn't mean we won't have REASON to fear. It means that in those times of trouble we can lean on Him, and we don't fear anything because as Paul says "To die is gain". With that perspective why would we ever be afraid to speak out, push ourselves, or pursue things we may fail at?

Fear entered the world early on, in fact, at the same time as sin did. No sooner had Adam and Eve eaten the fruit in the garden then they heard the Lord, and they were afraid. I believe it is safe to assume they had probably never felt fear before that moment. It caused them to hide from the Lord, to want to be separated from Him. How is that possible? How could they want to be separated from the One who gave them form and breath and all the beauty surrounding them? Because of fear. It is a powerful force.

I see it running rampant in this generation of America. I see it in a couples' eyes when they go in for an abortion because they are afraid of the responsibility which bringing forth life into this world involves. I also see fear in my heart and I believe it makes the Lord sad. How often He has told us- warned us not to fear, it must break His heart to see it continuing to thrive among His people. Where has boldness like the apostle Paul's gone? Where has courage like Queen Esther's disappeared to? It's been engulfed by a wave of small perspective and big fears which comes along with the shallow, self-focused lives that so much of our modern world has become accustomed to.

For me, at this time in my life, I'm terrified of the future. I'm afraid that my life will be lifeless, that my existence will serve no purpose. Those are fears, and they are motivated by my lack of faith. Because if I believe with all my heart that God created all, and has a plan for all, if I believe that He gave His son into the world for me so that He might adopt me into His family, if I believe that He puts the same power that RAISED Jesus from the dead inside of me when I walk  in step with the Spirit, IF I believe all of that and have complete faith in Him then how could I fear that He wouldn't make the absolute best use out of this sometimes-broken-into-pieces, short-lasting, not-always-pretty-little life that He gave to me?

If we, who call ourselves Christians, believe the Lord to be all He says He is, and that He will accomplish all He says He will then why aren't we jumping into our everyday lives with 10,0000 times more zeal and courage? I think that a lot of the reason is fear springing from a lack of faith. If we get out of ourselves and out of that self-centered fear by placing our full and absolute faith in Christ, then we can be bold for our God.  Even if our next step is unknown we can make sure that our hearts toward God are honestly willing for anything which He chooses to place in our path. That kind of faith, my friends, requires a deep love for God-the type of  love which casts out fear.

~Ab



***This post was mostly for myself honestly. God is currently shining a light on the fact that fear is a big part of my life and it has unearthed a lot of thoughts which I sort of wrote down here for clarity. Also I am aware that the run-on sentences are ridiculous and rampant in this post but sorry, I'm not sorry. :P