I'm a Senior?

What, how did this happen? It seems like just last week that I was building blanket forts all over my house...oh wait, it was. I'm definitely still a kid at heart, people.

BUT the fact remains that I am halfway through my last year of high school. I'm looking down a dark tunnel of big unknowns and adventures. Honestly, I can't wait! God has been teaching me for all of fall 2014 that I can-actually that I should- be excited to move on with my life. "As long as you are walking in step with My Spirit, you should have no fear!" is His gentle reminder to me constantly. It took me a long time to get on board with the lesson, but now that I am beginning to listen, my attitude and perspective are being transformed! The fact that when I am walking in step with the Spirit I could go to the cheapest college, work at McDonalds, or be the President of the U.S. and live a fulfilled life that would bring glory to the Lord in any of those areas is absolutely-mind-bogglingly-exciting!

Senior year is flying by and I'm trying to use it wisely, so in-between the college/scholarship applications, and SATs/ACTs I like to come up for air, have some fun, and savor those moments of living. 

This was an all-friends-no-adults-far-away trip. It involved fishing in the rain, practicallly catching a cabin on fire, not being able to cook the loads of food we brought, crab catching, having inmates as neighbors, and  all sorts of other wonderful unforgettableness!

Sister time is an obvious must! Throw in a close friend and it's even better.

Sister time becomes even more precious when one of them becomes engaged! But then brother time becomes pretty awesome too because it's a totally new experience for me!

These two continue to make me smile, take me out to dinner, and let me tease them about growing old all the while flooding crazy amounts of truth into my life.

 Spending a lot of time in hammocks with my favorite people is so essential. A few of us even got brave and slept in them all night once.

Representing our Spiderman shirts at the Zoo :) Yep, I promise we were seventeen and eighteen at the time. In case you were wondering, she's also the one I built the blanket fort with...

Also, thanks to my first-ever 8am classes, I experienced the sunrises of fall 2014 like I had never experienced sunrises before.

Small Town County Fair was definitely time well spent, all the way down to the stereotypical criminal picture. Not to mention the classic, thrilling, sometimes-stomach-turning rides, and red-dirt-covered funnel cakes!

One Saturday I got all crafty and made myself this fabric covered headboard and matching pillow!

Doing homework in hammocks and walking across this pretty campus every day both happened.

Free puppy snuggles and free cotton candy!

I spontaneously chopped 8 inches of my hair off!

 Salvation Army bell ringing for the first time ever! It definitely involved, carol singing, happy feet dancing, and a LOT of smiling, Pretty much one of my new favorite things!

Basketball games with these crazies.

Life with Jesus talks with all of these beautiful people.

Of course I couldn't make it a full four months without a visit to this home. The fact the engaged sister lives here didn't hurt any either.

 

Lights of Tejas didn't disappoint. In fact it exceeded all my expectations with it's people, life talks, fireworks, all around colorfulness, bounce houses, fire-side chats, sister time, and adventures.

First time ever mudding was an absolute success. All you need is a muddy road, cool people, and a vehicle- instant awesome. 

First semester of senior year was a time of many firsts, among which was my first public school cafeteria meal (and hopefully last. That stuff is gross), first Rend Collective concert (there's another brewing soon!), first college class, first final exam, first big-kid trip,  getting my drivers license and first car (It's pretty great even if it is older than me!), first set of keys, first game of seven wonders (I'm now totally obsessed), first time watching Pocahontas (now one of my favorite disneys),  first time knee boarding, first time holding a pig, first bumper car ride...the list goes on! 

This post could only display some of the joys these past months have contained, but now that I plan to blog regularly I'll be able to include so many more life details without the over-whelming post sizes! Also, this semester has definitely had other experiences that weren't so cheerful, those type of things will come up in later posts.

Well, here's to the Spring, to 2015, and to the unknown future where the only certain thing is that I will continue relating it's details-as they pertain to my life- right here. *CHEERS*

~Ab

All about fear

Lately I've realized just how much fear we all hold inside of us. We may not even call it that, other names include caution, stress, concern, anxiety, nervousness, and insecurity. But let's lump it all together and call it for what it really is-fear.

It's something which the Devil loves to brew up inside of us. Fear stops us from attaining our hearts desires and pursuing relationships that could change our lives. God spoke to His people about courage and told them not to fear countless times.

Often Christians use the Bible saying not to fear as a crutch, or as encouragement for one another. Granted, there are times to use it in that way. But also remember that God has never promised us that we won't suffer, or be embarrassed, or in pain or any of the situations we are typically afraid of. Just because God says Do Not Fear, doesn't mean we won't have REASON to fear. It means that in those times of trouble we can lean on Him, and we don't fear anything because as Paul says "To die is gain". With that perspective why would we ever be afraid to speak out, push ourselves, or pursue things we may fail at?

Fear entered the world early on, in fact, at the same time as sin did. No sooner had Adam and Eve eaten the fruit in the garden then they heard the Lord, and they were afraid. I believe it is safe to assume they had probably never felt fear before that moment. It caused them to hide from the Lord, to want to be separated from Him. How is that possible? How could they want to be separated from the One who gave them form and breath and all the beauty surrounding them? Because of fear. It is a powerful force.

I see it running rampant in this generation of America. I see it in a couples' eyes when they go in for an abortion because they are afraid of the responsibility which bringing forth life into this world involves. I also see fear in my heart and I believe it makes the Lord sad. How often He has told us- warned us not to fear, it must break His heart to see it continuing to thrive among His people. Where has boldness like the apostle Paul's gone? Where has courage like Queen Esther's disappeared to? It's been engulfed by a wave of small perspective and big fears which comes along with the shallow, self-focused lives that so much of our modern world has become accustomed to.

For me, at this time in my life, I'm terrified of the future. I'm afraid that my life will be lifeless, that my existence will serve no purpose. Those are fears, and they are motivated by my lack of faith. Because if I believe with all my heart that God created all, and has a plan for all, if I believe that He gave His son into the world for me so that He might adopt me into His family, if I believe that He puts the same power that RAISED Jesus from the dead inside of me when I walk  in step with the Spirit, IF I believe all of that and have complete faith in Him then how could I fear that He wouldn't make the absolute best use out of this sometimes-broken-into-pieces, short-lasting, not-always-pretty-little life that He gave to me?

If we, who call ourselves Christians, believe the Lord to be all He says He is, and that He will accomplish all He says He will then why aren't we jumping into our everyday lives with 10,0000 times more zeal and courage? I think that a lot of the reason is fear springing from a lack of faith. If we get out of ourselves and out of that self-centered fear by placing our full and absolute faith in Christ, then we can be bold for our God.  Even if our next step is unknown we can make sure that our hearts toward God are honestly willing for anything which He chooses to place in our path. That kind of faith, my friends, requires a deep love for God-the type of  love which casts out fear.

~Ab



***This post was mostly for myself honestly. God is currently shining a light on the fact that fear is a big part of my life and it has unearthed a lot of thoughts which I sort of wrote down here for clarity. Also I am aware that the run-on sentences are ridiculous and rampant in this post but sorry, I'm not sorry. :P

The Inspiration

It's 11:00 am, I'm sitting at my cozy kitchen table enjoying the company of fruit juice and oatmeal. 1001 things I should be doing, but I'm choosing to sit here. Why? Because my heart, spirit, mind and body are in desperate need of some breathing room.

After meeting with a dearly loved mentor and pouring my gut emotions and thoughts to her-she is one of the very few humans who I can easily do that to-I was brought to the realization that I am suffocating myself, but worse than that, I am suffocating my relationships. Not only my friendships and familyships (?), but even my relationship with Jesus-my most important friend, and God the Father of all. The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit are my lifeline, my difference between life and death. It's no wonder I'm suffocating.

As a teenager I was always taught to look forwards to senior year as if it were the solution to all those years of confusion and chaos which are called high school. Well, I guess I had high expectations for it. I anticipated all my insecurities leaving, my future taking shape, and my life purpose becoming crystal clear. I imagined my friends and I driving places together all the time, soaking up our time together, and loving every moment of it. The truth? School still exists, is hard, and takes time. My friends and I do drive around and hang out a lot and it is amazing but not every moment is perfect. We still can disagree, still be moody and grumpy, we are still human. My insecurities are still clinging to me like a sea star holds onto a rock. my future is completely fogged, and my life purpose is not taking any particular form. College and Scholarship applications are long, and SAT and ACT are stressful. Also, tragedies still happen.

Because of these truths and the disappointment which they caused, I have been floundering my way through these past months. Loving moments, but secretly despising my situation as a whole. When I met with my mentor I had pretty much reached the point of  ultimate self pity while still too prideful to admit it, and faking like I was just fine. That woman has a miraculous way of getting into my head though, and soon it was all out on the table, even though it tasted like medicine as it rolled off my tongue. But even though medicine is miserable at first, the end result of it is comfort. It is the same with confession if it is the right person you are confessing to.

She pointed out one evil which was permeating my life-social media. The discontent and dull mindedness which Fb and Insta can cause is unreal. I am now enjoying a much needed social media fast. She also pointed me toward truth- the Lord and my need for close communion with Him over anything else. Especially the need to simply be still before Him and know the pleasure of His good favor and love. Also, in the most loving way possible she showed me how inwardly selfish I was being and told me to pursue thankfulness in my heart. "Above all else guard your heart, for it determines the course of your life"-Proverbs 4:23 (NLT) Having an openly thankful heart towards the Lord will guard it better than any walls you could build around it. The condition of your heart determines the course of your life. Now that sounds an awful lot like the answer to all of my questions about future, and purpose, doesn't it?

It's 12:11pm, and I am now ready to begin my day. Writing is a sort of a passion of mine, this little blog is a place where I can let that passion run free and talk about real things. I pretty much  love it. So read it if you want, don't if you don't want. It's just words. Sometimes beautiful, sometimes tragic, but always words. Maybe they will encourage you sometimes, that would be awesome.

Writers block?

Who knows what it is, it's the feeling that there's something to say but no way to say it, The feeling that you want to write but who would want to read it? It's the feeling that you're out of time but nothing good was written. That you've lost your gift, or did you ever have it? It's the feeling that you've got too much inspiration to do anything with any of it. The feeling that you love something that's slipping away from you, the feeling that your brain and your fingers are missing a connection, the feeling that your mind is so clogged with unimportant thoughts that nothing good and true is able to slip through.

Yep, that's what this girl's feeling.


***

Anyways, moving on to Cheerful things, today has been SO nice! It's been one of those marvelous days where you're able to just sit around all day!! Saturdays without  plans are a rarity in my family, but for me today was one of the rare occasions! It has been so wonderful, I've basically been on the same couch ALL day! Friends, THAT NEVER HAPPENS! And to make things even better, it's a cloudy and gloomy day which, as everyone knows, are the BEST days for laying around :) Basically, all I've done today is watched a movie with my grandma, looked at lots of blogs, read a little bit, and suffered a severe case of writers block, as is evident from the paragraph above.^ However, despite having this dreadful writer's block all day--I've seriously started multiple stories and none of them are going anywhere!--it has still  been an excellent and restful day and I am very thankful for it!  :)))

Hope you all are having a restful Saturday as well!


Here's a random thought for the day:

A lighthouse is consistent through anything the ocean can do, the waters may rage mercilessly against the boats and beaches. But the beam of light burns brightly through the chaos and destruction of the water's mighty powers. Try as they might the waters cannot quench the light or cause it to be still. The ray of light continues to move along the waters, penetrating every dark corner of the sea, sending out a beacon of hope and comfort to any one who will see it. In the same way Christ is a light in this world, consistent through any blows the world may send His way. They may take His Holy Bible out of education, they may deny Him in the streets, they may use his name in jokes and spit upon it's Holy Power they may murder His own Children who He made in His own image. But no matter what they do, His light keeps shining to all who will take notice of it. They cannot sop Him from using His people to reach the darkest corners of this raging world, they cannot stop His light from moving over the earth, being a sign of hope and joy to all who see and understand it. Christ is like a lighthouse for weary sailors to see and to rejoice over. Knowing that they have found something which this world has no power to dim or to destroy, but which grows increasingly brighter with each new Sailor who experiences it's saving power.


*photo off the internet*


--- Abigail :)

things that say a lot about people!

                                                ~Things that say a lot about people~

The way in which they treat the waiter/waitress
How they feel about the weather
Whether they dog ear pages or highlight in books
Fingernails 

Hands in general
Their preferred creative outlet
How much they dread/enjoy talking on the phone
Whether or not they drink coffee
If they ever forget to eat
How honest they are with themselves (and others)
If they correct your grammar
Whether or not they get nervous before haircuts

I got this via  http://rosesandbluebells98.blogspot.com/

1. Well all I have to say is the way I treat them changed drastically after I worked at Tejas and got a feel for what they go through all day :) So now I usually try to treat them nicely and save them as much work as possible

2. I love basically all weather! 

3. I highlight in books ALL the time!! Especially my Bible!

4. Uh oh, mine are super ugly...I bite them :( so they're always super short and sometimes they have random white spots on them.

5. Mine are small and my fingers are short! lol

6.WRITING! and photography! I love drawing but I'm really terrible!

7.  Well I used to literally dread it with a PASSION! But I've gotten to where I almost actually enjoy it!

8. Yes, I do drink coffee!

9. I forget to eat all the time :p

10. I feel like I'm more honest with others than I am with myself...

11. I correct people's grammar in my head all the time and sometimes out loud!

12. YES, I get extremely nervous before hair cuts! Litterally my stomach starts hurting!

That was fun! I got the idea from Holly :)

Pictures by my sister Sarah and me :)

Music !

This is super fun, I had SO MUCH fun doing it! you should all try it! Here are the rules,

1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle. 

2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.

3. Write down the song name and (if applicable) the movie it came from, no matter how silly it sounds.

4. Tag some friends. Your choice how many.

Here we go!

If someone says "Are you okay?" you say...When I think about the Lord, 

What would best describe your personality? I will praise Thee 

How would you describe yourself? I'm alive

What do you like in a guy/girl? Take heart

How do you feel today? Upside down

What is your life's purpose? Climb every mountain

What's Your Motto? Jesus Son of God

What do your friends think of you? I see you

What do your parents think of you? Have your way

What do you think about very often?  More beautiful you

What do you think of your best friend? Your gentle touch

What do you think of the person you like? Edelweiss

What is your life story? Beautiful things

What do you want to be when you grow up? Bad, Bad Leroy Brown

What do you think when you see the person you like? Day after day

What will you do at your wedding? You'll always be my best friend

What will they play at your funeral? Alleluia, Alleluia

What is your hobby/interest? Praise the name of Jesus

What is your biggest fear? Asleep in the light

What is your biggest secret? He'll take care of the rest

What do you want right now? Good directions

What do you think of your friends? Psalm 145

What's the worst thing that could happen? The stone

What is the one thing you regret? Time well wasted

What makes you laugh? Love never fails

What makes you cry? Look at me

Will you ever get married? You said

What scares you the most? Humanity

Does anyone like you? Yours forever and Love story

What will you name this post? Song to my parents

So, I must admit, I did cheat...I did it three times then chose the best of the three for each one! But it was so fun I didn't want to stop after the first time! Haha
Aren't they awesome?! :)

.....

Hopefully, I'll be posting more often here in the next few weeks! Life is exciting right now and I'm afraid I've neglected this little spot, but it's not forgotten it's just near the bottom of my priorities list ;)
.....

Three of my latest obsessions:
-David Dunn, he's a singer you should definitely look him up on youtube!
-PINTEREST! Enough said....
-Stretching and fitness! Soon I will be able to post my whole stretching routine I've been doing  :)

Plan on hearing from me again soon!

Abigail :)

[(nutritious eating = healthy) + (lots of exercise = fit)] = happy!

Do ya like my math?!? ;) This little equation is kind of becoming my motto. It is so true. When I'm eating good and exercising regularly I feel SO much better about everything in my life!
 I'm trying to cut out all the foods and junk that are dragging me down and incorporate in more, and more, healthy stuff, while increasing my flexibility, core strength, stamina, and just all around fitness! These posts may be boring to you guys, so you don't have to read them...they're really more a way for me to keep myself accountable then they are entertainment for you. ;)

This week I will :     Do 20 push-ups a day-I know, I'm super weak ;(
                               Run a mile every day
                               Do 50 sit-ups a day
                               Do assorted stretches every day-focusing on lower back and inner hip flexibility
                               Pay attention to/record what I eat
                               Practice Volleyball EVERY DAY!!!
                               work super hard at V-ball practice on Mon.
                               Really, really, perform my best in ballet on Tues and Thurs!
                             
Now, I'm not gonna be super strict on myself because right now my schedule is INSANE and there are things that I'm forced to make higher priorities than this stuff. Sadly. But, I am going to try my hardest!
Also I'm going to try and go to bed every night by 10:30! and get up every morning by 7:00! Which is a HUGE deal for me! And on Saturday I did a  5K! Which- I'm ashamed to confess- but I did walk some of. Still though...it was fun :)

Sarah and I after finishing the race! (Sorry for how terrible I look!!) ;)

Just a little side note...lately I can't stop singing This or This or This or This or This or This so, if you have time you should check out these beautiful songs :) They make me happy!